I'm Sorry
by SophieCL
Summary: Jade makes a fatal mistake that Beck can never forgive her for. I suck at summerys... R&R!


**A/N I don't know if I actually like this or not even though I wrote it, if that makes sense. It's quite dark though it doesn't go into description of the dark bits. Really OOC, sorry. **

**Disclaimer: Victorious is over, of course I never owned it. **

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**Jade's POV**

It was Monday morning; I lay awake staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, occasionally glancing over at my alarm clock. It was 3:08am and I'd not slept since Friday due to the guilt eating me alive, I couldn't sleep, eat or even think straight and it was all to do with this stupid secret I've kept hidden for over 2 weeks now. I had thought about telling Beck but I always fought against it, I knew it would probably make things worse between us. We've been fighting like crazy recently, though I can't blame him, he was most likely depressed from his father passing away just last month.

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After debating with myself for at least an hour I decided that he should know due to him playing a major part in this secret.

I stood up and turned the bedside lamp on and stalked over to my desk where my pear products sat. I picked up my phone and started texting Beck, even though he's probably sleeping and wouldn't reply until later this morning.

**To: Beck x**

**From: Jade x**

**Hey babe, can I come over later today? I really need to talk to you. x **

I took in a deep breath before hitting send. I'm positive that it's going to kill him like it's doing to me. Almost instantly I got a reply back from him, maybe he wasn't sleeping after all.

**To: Jade x**

**From: Beck x**

**Sure. If it's important you can come over now if you like? Love you. x**

As I read the last two words I smiled to myself, knowing that once I told him, he would take back every single hug, kiss, 'I love you', 'babe' and memory he's ever shared with me.

* * *

I was standing outside Beck's RV, dreading every moment I was about to endure from this second onward Before I could knock, the door swung open, revealing a smiling Beck. I returned a smile but it wasn't sincere like his.

Beck has let me in ad we were now sitting on his small couch.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Beck questioned while draping his arm around me.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I knew tears would soon make an appearance sooner or later. I sighed and let them all spill out, burying my face in my hands, being too ashamed of myself to face him. Beck immediately pulled me into his arms and embraced me in a hug. I sobbed onto his shoulder while he tried to calm me down from my hysterical state.

"Shh, Jade please tell me what's wrong. You've got me worried now" Beck said.

* * *

20 minutes passed and I had finally calmed down. My eyes were still red and puffy from crying though.

"You'll never forgive me for this..." I began to say between shaky breaths.

Beck then went on to say about how he will and that he'll love me no matter what has happened. I looked at him with shame and regret in my face.

"T-technically, I've killed a life that never got to live…" I finally admitted.

Beck's face was covered with genuine confusion as he stared at me. I hate having to explain it in more detail because I didn't want to relive it.

"A week after you left to go to Canada with your family a couple months ago, I- found out that was I pregnant… I knew that I wasn't going to be able to handle taking care of a baby at seventeen when I can't even take care of myself. When I told my mom, she said she was disgusted and didn't want anything to do with me, so she moved to Florida to live with her new boyfriend. After seeing how it affected me when my mom, who I hardly came into contact with, disowned and left me I knew I couldn't tell you, you're the only thing I have left now that Cat has left for collage…So before you came back, I emm, I aborted the baby…" By the time I was done, I had started sobbing again, not looking him in the eyes.

* * *

When I finally did look at him, he had taken his arms away from me and was pacing back and forth.

"W-why would you do that?! You know I'm against it! You could have handled it, I would have helped you and we wouldn't be in this position right now!" He yelled at the top of his voice, probably waking up his mom and sister.

I stood up and walked over to him, placing a hand of his shoulder.

"Beck, please" I half yelled, tears pouring out fast.

I had never seen him this angry and upset before, I knew he had every right to be.

"NO! You make me sick! You've ruined everything, Jade, like you always do!" Beck began walking towards me, his fists clenched until his knuckles were white.

"I never want to see you again. It might have been okay if you'd actually came and talked to me about it instead of deciding yourself. It just proves how selfish and heartless you actually are, I should have listened to everyone when they told me all that crap about you…" Beck continued, in a calmer tone of voice than before.

That was obviously my cue to leave, so I did.

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When I exited the RV I saw Mrs Oliver and her daughter, Stephanie, standing in the driveway, probably wondering what the noise was. I just kept walking though; they would hate me soon enough anyway. Everything in my life is gone, well everything that actually mattered to me.

I wish I was the one dead right now, not that innocent child that never even got to experience life. As that thought crossed my mind I saw headlights of a car come towards me like a flash. My vision blurred and soon I couldn't see a thing. I had finally got my wish.

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**A/N To be honest, I wrote this at 2am this morning, so it's not that good. There's probably a ton of errors in it because I haven't proofread it because I'm lazy...and watch too much Adventure Time n_n**

**Sorry this was so short.**

**R&R?**


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